At Compassionate Kids, my approach is grounded in psychology, neuroscience, and child development. Whether I’m working with families navigating ADHD and executive function challenges or with those focused on general family dynamics, the principles of connection, empathy, and shared problem-solving apply universally. It is my hope that you gain an understanding of my key principles and how they might help you develop practical strategies for creating the family dynamic you envision.
At the heart of my coaching is the belief that behavior is a form of communication—a window into an individual’s feelings and needs. For example, an outburst that seems defiant may actually signal emotional or physical overwhelm. By tuning into these cues, parents can address their child’s emotions more effectively through heightened understanding and connection. When children feel connected, they thrive.
In my philosophy, discipline—rooted in the Latin disciplina—is about teaching and guiding, not just enforcing rules. I see discipline as an opportunity for growth. Through natural and logical consequences, we help kids build responsibility, strengthen emerging skills, and reinforce accountability. This is not permissive parenting. When a child loses privileges for not completing their chores, it becomes a chance for reflection. This gentle approach prioritizes learning over fear of punishment.
As children grow, we can adapt our boundaries to support their needs, while staying grounded in our core family values. For example, a family that values respect may start with simple rules, like no interrupting at meals, and later build on this with turn-taking and reflective listening for older kids. These practices not only reinforce this value but also support skill-building in communication. My goal is to help you define your family’s values and use them to set realistic, compassionate boundaries.
Central to my work is the idea that self-regulation and self-care are key to a nurturing family dynamic. Think of a parent as the captain of a ship—when the captain stays steady, the crew feels safe. Similarly, when parents model emotional control, they create a calm, supportive environment. Although we will inevitably stray from calm in the midst of life’s ebb and flow, mindfulness gives us the tools to try to stay grounded in the present moment. Even in busy times, we can find small, mindful moments to stay anchored in the present.
This work is hard and many of us struggle with guilt and self-blame, especially in tough moments. I emphasize the importance of self-compassion, drawing on the wisdom of author Kristin Neff. Self-compassion means offering ourselves the same warmth and kindness we naturally extend to others. In times of self-doubt, I guide parents to reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth, recognizing that this journey is about learning and evolving, not perfection.
Another key principle is understanding how our nervous systems influence behavior and the role of co-regulation in calming our states. Thanks to insights from polyvagal theory, we now understand just how much stress affects our nervous systems—whether it’s the constant hum of a busy schedule or the pressure a child feels around schoolwork. Experiencing stress can make it harder for children to regulate their emotions and engage with the world around them. But when they feel safe, they open up and explore with confidence.
Secure attachment is at the heart of my approach. It’s about showing up consistently and honestly, with a readiness to repair when needed. By attuning to our children’s needs and validating their emotions, we help them move from stress to calm. Small, consistent gestures—like a nod, comforting words, or a hug—create a safe space for all emotions, reinforcing that we’re in this together.
Fostering emotional literacy is another cornerstone of my approach. Helping children name and understand their feelings builds emotional intelligence and strengthens their connections with others, while also building the foundation for resilience.
Parenting is undeniably challenging. By putting these principles into practice, I aim to help my clients create a nurturing and connected home environment, developing practical strategies that align with each family’s unique goals and values.
Expert Insights That Shape My Approach
Dr. Becky Kennedy (Clinical Psychologist and Parenting Expert)
When we show our kids that we see them, hear them, and care about them, we empower them to feel safe and to express themselves.
Dr. Ross Greene (Clinical Psychologist and Expert in Childhood Behavioral Challenges)
Kids do well if they can. If they’re not doing well, it’s because they lack the skills to do well, not because they want to be difficult. Understanding why a child is struggling is the first step toward helping them succeed.
Dr. Dan Siegel (Neuropsychologist and Expert in Child Development)
Parenting is not about being perfect; it’s about being present. When you’re present, you build a secure attachment that helps your child thrive.
Dr. Mona Delahooke (Clinical Psychologist and Expert in Child Behavior and Development)
Behavior is a language; it communicates a need. By understanding the meaning behind a child’s behavior, we can respond in a way that meets their needs.